I'm Ready to Give Up

Wednesday

“I can’t do this any more, I’m ready to give up.”

I said as I got fired from my new job that was to give me a new start on life.

I was 23.

But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

2 Chronicles 15: 7

To get to Kansas City, I came very, very close to being in a deadly accident.  Then I was sexually assaulted.  And then for the finale, I was in a motorcycle accident.   All in one day.  Believe it or not, these things did not rattle my ears open to the word of God.

I had not been facing my pain, but covering it up with all the wrong things.  As a result, I was making wrong decisions about everything.  Several months later, I lost the job I had moved here for.  When I lost that job due to a foolish mistake, I could feel my life slipping away.   I was ready to give up.  I didn’t feel I could pull my self up one more time.  Exactly how much can a person take I pondered.

It was then that my brother pointed out that I only had one way to go, and that was up.  I had hit bottom, finally.   I didn’t turn to God at that moment, but I did decide to start making the right decisions.

In all of my brokenness, in all of my bad decisions, God was there all the time, ready and willing to help dig me out.  He was reaching for me, but I wasn’t reaching back.  It has to be a two way street.  If we are not reaching for God, we cannot hear His voice.

It’s a good thing God doesn’t give up on us, even after years of pushing Him away.  He is a good God that is patient and forgiving in our foolishness.

Lord, thank you for always being there for me, in spite of me turning my back on You.  Please, Lord, always lead me back to You.