The Test Results are Negative

Thursday

“The test results are negative.”

The nurse said after yet another negative pregnancy test.

I was 35.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

 

When these words were spoken to me, I had finally turned my life back to God.  When I lost the job back at 23 years old, I thought I had hit bottom.  Wrong.  I had no idea there was a new, lower bottom to be hit, which I did with a resounding thud.  Finally, when my life was once again about to come crashing down on me, I begged God back into my life. 

So here I was back in church, praying to God for the one thing I had wanted more than anything in this world:  A baby.  I wanted a family again.  I had a wonderful husband and needed to complete the picture.

Years of infertility go by one day at a time.  It’s a slow painful process that can cause you to doubt and question just about everything.  However, once again, as I did when I was a teenager, I made the decision accept my life as it was and thank God for the good stuff.  I decided it was all up to God and whatever He decided; He just needed to help me to accept it. 

As I waited on test after test, I told God I trusted Him.  I also decided to thoroughly enjoy my quiet and clean house as well as my down time.  I was hoping one day I would have a house full of noisy, messy children with no time to myself!

Lord, I know that I need to trust that You have a plan for my life.  Even when it’s hard and it doesn’t seem possible, I will keep my faith in You and listen for Your voice.

Amen